Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ah, the first snow of the season!

I met up with a friend today for coffee at Panacea. I love Panacea because of not just the coffee, but because of the different company you can keep while you're there. I spend an awful lot of time there since I'm working mainly in the afternoons and I have my mornings pretty much free. This friend of mine and I go back about a year and a half. We've been pretty close and then we had a bit of a rough patch and she moved away. She's back now and I'm so thankful for that, I think she needed to come back and this may be selfish, but I needed her to come back. It was very enlightening to spend some time with her today over coffee on the big ugly orange couch from the 70's in my haven of comfort. I had forgotten how much she surprised me with her insight and her knowledge of people. Her experience in life far outweighs my own even though she is just a couple of years older than I am.

Yesterday at the church I was hearing tales of the possibility of snow. All I could think was: this early in the season? No way.

Ha. I was wrong.

The kids had a two hour delay, which was nice, I got to see my brother some this morning before we both went on with our days. I love spending time with him. I feel like because I'm looking for a real job our time is limited together. That might be silly but there it is. I digress, I spent some time with the first snow of the season (despite my coughing from the cold of satan). I took some pictures and just enjoyed the general cold splendor. I love the fall color when it's covered in a nice layer of snow. The white offsets things wonderfully.

I think snow might be my favorite. It's not necessarily a rarity in the mountains, but a lot of times we get excited about it and it doesn't come. We had a nice half an inch at my house that I played in. I love how quiet things are when it's snowing, it's not like rain, bouncing around and letting you know it's there. Snow is much less unassuming that way. It just blankets everything in the wonderful white layer of goodness. It was nice to get out there alone with my camera to spend some time with God while in the midst of this early season blessing. He can speak really well to me through little things like that.

I've also been spending a lot of time with James Taylor. I had forgotten about my old CD of his "greatest hits". It's been wonderful to settle down with a good book, coffee, and sweet baby James.

One last thing: go to wisdombook.org and watch the video. Let it inspire you like it inspired me.

Monday, October 13, 2008

in love with autumn...

Today I woke up (I suppose really it hasn't been that long ago) and the sun was trying so hard to break through the fog and bring in the day. This is one thing I love about autumn... other than calling it autumn! Yesterday Mom and I were at the grocery and I saw the international delight creamers, pumpkin pie spice is out! Ahhh! I enjoyed a bit of that in my coffee this morning.

How delightful.

I've been babysitting again. Which means I've been taking pictures again. I love the Birthright family. They make my heart smile. I've been with them for some time now -- it's always such a pleasure to watch a child you love grow up over the years. I sound like I'm a grandmother... but whatever.

There is some of our craziness!

I'm really enjoying the weather! Autumn is my very favorite season! I'm planning on a parkway trip very soon that way I can get some great pictures of the leaves. It's so nice to live in an area that is so perfect in fall!

I'm off, I have the urge to spend some time in the Psalms today. Woohoo!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


I need to begin thinking of better headlines for my blogs. This one word thing is dorky.

This last week has been insane. No, really. Insane.

I have learned a lot. See, I'm the good kid. I'm the one that always does a good job, never gets in trouble, always gets good feedback, blah blah blah. I'm the goody goody if you want to say it that way.

When I find out that there have been parent complaints due to me and my teaching style I flipped out!

What? Me? I've done something wrong? I do my best! I really do! I love all of those kids equally! What in the world could I have done to offend? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *pulls hair out*

So, my boss, knowing me from long ago knows that I am liable to flip out some. Okay, flip out a lot. Especially over something that I pour everything I have into. I mean come on, I have pictures of these kids on my phone, on my computer, in this blog. I wake up thinking of them and wondering if the one that was not feeling well yesterday is alright today. I miss them over the weekend. I like to draw with them, I play tag with them, I teach them how to braid hemp.

See? These kids are my life.

Back to my boss, she and I spent some time talking about how things like this can be frustrating and how you can't please everyone all of the time. We talked about somethings that I can do in the classroom to help with the issues we've been dealing with. It's been an amazing turn around. The kids have responded beautifully to it. I've written a letter to their parent's giving them an outline of life in my class.

I'm so grateful to have a boss that understands not only how I am, but how to work with me and help me figure out a way to fix it. AND on top of all of that be patient and compassionate.

Wow. Thanks God. And, Amanda! :] You two kids rock!

Speaking of God. He had a big hand in all of this. He allowed me to step outside of myself and hear things that weren't pleasant to hear and he allowed me to absorb it and, with help, find a way to fix it.

It's been very humbling. I'm not glad that some of the parents or kids were unhappy (duh), but I am glad that I was able to learn from a work experience that I'd never encountered. I'm also glad I had the support of my family, co-workers, my boss, my friends, and especially my kids.

Since hearing the negative, I've heard some positives from the mouths of the parents themselves. Today one parent couldn't get their kid to leave with them. They looked at me and said, "as frustrating as it is to get her to come here, I'm so glad she likes it here". In another case I was saying goodbye to the last two siblings to leave on Monday and as I walked by I said "okay, guys! Have a great evening! See you tomorrow!" They kids yelled out, "We love you Miss Shannon!" and the parent said, "We're sure looking forward to it!".

Holy smokes.

I've learned a lot. It's truly amazing what sort of change a few simple days can bring and what God can do with all of it.

I stand in awe.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


So, it has been a long time since my last post - I'm here to fix that.

Since my last entry I have:
-gotten over someone
-stopped working on sundays
-found a new intrest
-gotten two new journals
-found a polaroid camera
-taken lots of polaroids
-settled some priorities
-enjoyed the crap out of my life

For the first on the list:
I was involved in a horribly unhealthy "relationship" that had lasted an absurd amount of time. There had been a couple of months with almost zero contact and God said, "Hey, I miss you. I think you're neat. Come talk to me. Oh, and by the way, you are absolutely done with this idiot boy." I said, "Thanks for the heads up. No problem. I think you're neat too."

Done? Wow.

Enter the facebook message (oh yes, facebook). I basically said I was finished and I didn't think we had to never talk or anything like that, but that we'd never be what we were. ever. again. never. (etc) and I told him that I had learned to protect my heart and that he would have to earn the right back to see me. It took a lot for me to write that to him. The boy that I always made allowances for, the one I thought really loved me, really would fight for me, and wanted to be with me. Somehow I had believed all of those things. So when I wrote that my hands were shaking and I had to ask God if this was really thing right thing to say. He said, "Why, yes it is". Okay God, whatever You say.
So, after everything that I had believed about this relationship, after everything I had put into it, after all the tears, broken hearts, and b.s. along the way this is what he said back to me:
"I love you more than you know (obviously), but I'm not going to try and earn a chance to see you. That's bullshit".

Really? Awesome.

That right there was the defining moment our relationship. Contradiction in terms. I love you but I'm not willing to fight for you.

Cool. That works.

So girls: stay away from crap like that. That is the moral of the story.

I'm doing quite well. I've started talking to another guy who I've known since college (that feels weird to say, oh wait, I'm not in college anymore. right.), he's nice and he likes the woods and he knows how to cook. Woohoo! So we'll see. Moving very very slow. That works just fine for me.

Also, I told my boss that I was no longer going to work on Sundays. As God told me that I was done with the idiot boy, He also said, "Oh, I forgot, you're no longer going to work on Sundays. You're going to spend that time with Me."

Sure thing God.

I'm going to be going to The Vine basically every Sunday. I'm pretty thrilled about that. Fellowship! Yes!

Norah Jones is extremely fun to listen to when you're cooking. Somehow when it's ready it tastes better. This is true of speghetti at least. Ha! It's quite nice to listen to some really great mellow music and cook at the same time. On a pink Zune of course.

Oh yes, my Zune is pink.