tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16769047849232658772024-03-14T03:38:32.414-07:00Love is the Movement"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons" - T.S. EliotYour Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-41589726473966855842010-01-08T19:41:00.001-08:002010-01-08T19:45:40.195-08:00My 365 ProjectI'm going to be working from a different blog for a while - I'm doing a project that I've begun calling the 365 Project. Check out my page at<br />http://shannonbear.wordpress.com<br />to see what it's all about! <br /><br />See you there!Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-27742946240557774602009-10-12T18:05:00.000-07:002009-10-12T18:27:03.363-07:00Re: WowDo you ever think about what kind of story you're living? Like are you one of those people that other people have great tales about? The kind of tale that they look back on with a smile and a sigh like, "oh, i can't believe that happened... oh wait it was *insert name here* of course i can."? Or are you one of those people that are really nice and you're known for being really nice? Or are you an ass and that is what you're known for? Some kind of radical perhaps? A very conservative, shy fellow?<br /><br />I'm reading Don Miller's new book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - I totally recommend it. Don always makes me think about the state of my life, or the way I think about things, or just things in general... like Lord of the Rings. I'm also listening to a lot of Cat Stevens and Bon Iver. Those things combined with some free time gives you room to ponder. <br /><br />Don (so far in the book) talks about his life and how boring it's been... at least for it to be made into a movie. Which leads him to talk about his Uncle who passed away. At the funeral he talks about how they all knew they were burying a good man, which is different from burying an average man - which I can totally identify and agree with. They celebrated his life, yes they were sad, but they knew he lived a life worth living and made an impact on other people worthy of celebration. He then tells a story about his uncle's life which got me to thinking. <br />At my funeral (now, in my 23 years) would I be someone that everyone would know was a good person? An average person? A jerk of a person?<br /><br />Am I someone who's life would be worthy of celebrating because of what I had done? The honorable way I impacted people's lives? Or the stories I left behind...would they be worth talking about (like my dad - we roasted him for his 50th birthday. There were so many stories told we had to switch the video camera tape. That got me to thinking then too, am I like that?)?<br /><br />I wonder if God and I will sit and talk about how crazy awesome my life was or if we'll just sit and look at each other while we sip coffee awkwardly. I wonder if we'll have anything to talk about when He asks me about it. I wonder what I'll say. Or how long we'll talk about it. Minutes, hours, days? I don't really know. I know what I hope that will be like, usually the way I hope things would go isn't how they actually turn out. <br /><br />Don put's it perfectly in a sentence:<br />"You get a feeling when you look back on life that that's all God really wants from us, to live inside a body he made and enjoy the story and bond with us through the experience." <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MZ4Iai1t5aLIbVocFyunfCv-QvtfMMo8bZAGdLt2DT6mGYkWyPeOibLskG27O0vJBbSXcqwIai8qxTFWQ1_KKGIbzXFBIhQl5XpYsgU2IeHzBkhzMO2-TKxk2uIp7pjG0eMZ-mOMUEI/s1600-h/IMG_1678.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MZ4Iai1t5aLIbVocFyunfCv-QvtfMMo8bZAGdLt2DT6mGYkWyPeOibLskG27O0vJBbSXcqwIai8qxTFWQ1_KKGIbzXFBIhQl5XpYsgU2IeHzBkhzMO2-TKxk2uIp7pjG0eMZ-mOMUEI/s320/IMG_1678.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391889762419271618" /></a>Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-687177042402308652009-10-06T17:37:00.000-07:002009-10-06T17:52:50.922-07:00*<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWgORnahw5RKv85TkR4_I_bN1I_h-nm-ALTMkJi4ujjfqpK7WZOi2uLAT3ekCMKd_RjWXqHLFRcQjoAIcEdMuV65K8P2-EP0fctOOU4OVmhqlSuae2DYRDm9qQqrLRT0TVL8dRNJKYXk/s1600-h/IMG_1652.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWgORnahw5RKv85TkR4_I_bN1I_h-nm-ALTMkJi4ujjfqpK7WZOi2uLAT3ekCMKd_RjWXqHLFRcQjoAIcEdMuV65K8P2-EP0fctOOU4OVmhqlSuae2DYRDm9qQqrLRT0TVL8dRNJKYXk/s320/IMG_1652.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389651218609640290" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja8dVb9fg-QTWfGbp0Wz3ybycC0ec4jVNuKsxy5DNx28TmekcgYQljA2e6XVwt7dSX_icjEaA9JM7ETl38o2OnMlJlPaGPh4H0119TiGyoZiFzb-OIejFNuqfomxZj5dEfn1Db2xLqiy0/s1600-h/IMG_1632e.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja8dVb9fg-QTWfGbp0Wz3ybycC0ec4jVNuKsxy5DNx28TmekcgYQljA2e6XVwt7dSX_icjEaA9JM7ETl38o2OnMlJlPaGPh4H0119TiGyoZiFzb-OIejFNuqfomxZj5dEfn1Db2xLqiy0/s320/IMG_1632e.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389651205627656002" /></a><br /><br />Welcome, Fall. <br />This is my absolute favorite time of year. Skirts and leggings. Time in the woods. Pumpkin spice creamer. Mulled cider candles. Crisp air. Knitting. New scarves. Boots. Sweaters. Warm hugs and smiles. Feeling good. Movie releases *cough Where the Wild Things Are cough*. Vibrant colors. Percolators holding amazing coffee. Reconnecting with God. Don Miller. Bon Iver. Cat Stevens. Camping. My my.<br /><br />I've been on the parkway a few times in the last couple of weeks, it's my goal to be up there every week a couple of times. That way I don't miss anything - I want to be in the middle of God's artistry as often as possible this season. Fall makes everything magical in it's own right. <br /><br />Life has been interesting for me since June when I last posted. I've hung out with a nice guy, been stalked from the parkway to my house by his crazy ex-girlfriend, have since stopped hanging out with the "nice guy", applied for a couple of jobs that are in my field, been inspired- no called- to move to Colorado in the relatively near future, begun to water color/draw, gotten a kitten named Dulce, jumped for a new hair style including bangs, begun DIY projects (who knew), and reconnected with some old friends. <br /><br />I've enjoyed working with my new class of 4 year olds - I have an interesting blend of kids this year. My assistant is one of the most amazing people I've had the pleasure of meeting. She is, as I said tonight in a staff meeting, my other half. It's amazing when you can go through all of the struggles my job offers, from the lack of trust with leadership, to struggles with communication, to 4 year old family drama, to breakdowns and still manage to have inside jokes and be able to laugh things off. That is a rare gift. <br /><br />I'm learning and relearning on a daily basis to trust God and to find the beautiful in every day. It's been hard over the last month or so especially, but He is seeing me though. I'm so grateful for such an amazing God. <br /><br />This Fall I'm looking forward to completing a few new projects:<br />-Knitting my first scarf (after countless hours of practice I think I might be ready)<br />-Road trips to see friends in distant cities<br />-DIY 2010 planner (eeek!)<br />-Perfecting my tree/owl painting<br />-Jumping in every leaf pile available<br />-Stomping on any crunching looking leaf<br />-Swinging at the park <br /><br />What are some of your fun plans this fall?Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-14610269485534283522009-06-30T18:14:00.001-07:002009-06-30T18:21:17.985-07:00oh, summer camp.I'm totally in charge of about...25 or so children on any given day at my job. Today was movie day! One thing you must know about me is, I totally dig adventure. I fell in love with driving the church's 15 passenger van last summer and totally got to drive it again today. <br />For the first time. <br />Oh my. <br />The love. <br /><br />I shall take a picture tomorrow for you all to see just how hilarious I look while driving this thing. However, my kids and I favor classic rock. With the windows down. Really loud.<br /><br />You can imagine how amazing we are rolling around in the van listening to "More Than a Feeling" jamming down the highway. That is how I spent a lot of my day. Apparently I am the "cool" teacher since I drive with the tunes cranked and the windows down. <br /><br />I love my kids. They are amazing.<br /><br />One boy today - who I had last summer - saw another little boy picking on me(they like to pick me up and/or tickle me). He got up and ran over yelling "Hey you! Stop it! Let Miss Shannon down now!" He proceeded to push the other boy away from me and, once he was satisfied with the distance, came over and put his arms around my waist and said, "No one messes with Miss Shannon but me!". <br /><br />That is my life. And oh it is an amazing one at that.<br /><br />Tomorrow is pool day. We shall see how that goes!Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-22838174042519884982009-06-21T14:14:00.000-07:002009-06-21T14:38:06.643-07:00FirstThis is the first day of summer.<br />This is the first time I have wished for fall since the beginning of the year. <br />This is the first big let down for Father's day. Ever.<br />This is the first time I have not been able to face it.<br />This is the first time I have not been able to take it head on and deal with it.<br />This is the first time in a long time I have wished for a partner. <br />This is the first time I have wished for someone to take up the slack.<br />This is the first time in a long time I have yearned for someone to hold me/things together when I cannot. <br />This is the firs time I have been forced to sit under it and be sad. <br />This is the first time I have not been able to curb my tears.<br />This is the first time a Gevalia coffee maker has failed us.<br />This is the first time I cannot have coffee when I want it.<br />I don't like that. At all. <br /><br />Dad is upstairs watching the coffee perk in Junior (yes, the percolator has a name. get off me). I had a fine cup from him last night on the parkway, it is my hope the next one is just as good.<br /><br />I have spent Father's day with my dad and my sister. My mother has not been apart of it, other than to cause pain... knowingly or unknowingly. It's too late now. <br /><br />Have you ever been faced with something that you have no control over? Have you ever had to be the steadfast hold when there is no one else there? Have you ever been face with the challenge of trying to control something that is utterly uncontrollable? Have you every grappled with a loved one over their actions, over and over and over (all the while knowing it won't get better. It will merely end with a "I am sorry" and yet, you know it will happen again)?<br /><br />That has been my day. And to top it all off the coffee maker died. Now, if you do not personally know me this may sound crazy to you. But for those of you who do know me, you understand the significance coffee has in my life and you can empathize with me. Back to those of you who do not know me, I love coffee (duh), it is a constant in my life. It offers me solace. Which I gladly take, especially in times like these. So there you have it. It's God's special gift to me, one which I often use and spend time with Him over. Ah, to pray over a steaming hot cup of coffee. I think God likes coffee. I think He drinks it with me while we sit in my room or on the mountain or at work and talk.<br /><br />Yes, today I wish for someone to hold me and know me, and know that I cannot hold it together and that they must, at least for a moment, hold it together for me. It has been a long time since I've thought like this. Since I have no one I would trust with this task I to turn to my Maker. God has an odd sense of humor and odd timing. Perfect yes, but odd all the same. For now, I will turn to Him to hold it together for me and I will let Him hold me while I fall apart. I pray that tomorrow will be better, simply because I start working with all of my school age kids tomorrow. I hope that I can be genuinely joyful and that the joy comes from them. I hope that I can offer forgiveness when it's time. I hope that I can move forward in the relationship with my mom when the time comes. I hope that I can grieve well as someone once put it. Grieving well... what a concept. Perhaps I can? We'll see I suppose. <br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />God ueses all things for good</span>.Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-86524547444417120722009-05-27T18:36:00.001-07:002009-05-27T18:47:12.719-07:00Time to light the candle.There comes a time when you have to get rid of baggage. As a good friend of mine put it, you have to clean out your house.<br /><br />I've come (once again) to a point where the purging of useless/mindless/ridiculous things is going to be the healthiest choice. <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">God help me</span>.<br /><br />As I said earlier, I know that we go through things in an effort to grow, to be furthered as a person. However, I really wish sometimes (and only sometimes) that there was another way. There is the rub.<br /><br />For the past month and a half I have been pounded. Over and over again. I would get hit with something ...ie: the break up and get hit by something else all over again. I get tired of trying to work through something only to be hit with something else, sometimes worse, and have to start all over. <br /><br />Somehow I lost the joy in my life. I lost the sense of who I am. I lost the idea of where I was going. I lost a lot. <br /><br />I think I might be gaining it back. It's very hard to hold on to that feeling when the fear surfaces... oh snap, what if something else comes to rob me of this? <br /><br />God has been using this time, I can see that now, to mold me. He's been screaming TRUST ME! at the top of His very large lungs. There have been subtle things happening in my life that have alluded to this conclusion. He always provides. He always listens. Most of all He sustains me. He keeps me going when I feel like I can no longer go. More than that He pushes me further, spurs me on to become more. To seek more. To just be more. <br /><br />Tonight I'm going to light a candle and I'm going to meditate on how my life has been going and how so many things got beyond my control. I'm going to take a step back from that and gain some Godly perspective (if He is willing to give it. Though I have a feeling He's ready to throw it at me) and let it go. It's certainly something to consider when you see that He calmed the storm and that He can clearly handle my small life and what matters in it. <br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory...</span><br /> <br /><br />As I read on one of my favorite blogs- http://www.thelongbrake.com/blog/<br />-What I want to say is that I have no idea what healthy means. But I do know about healing.<br />-What I want to say is celebrate often and grieve well.<br />-What I want to say is let silence surround you like a blanket when words simply will not soothe.<br />-What I want to say is should is a terrible reason to do anything. <br />-What I want to say is: relax.<br />-What I want to say is love and be loved. If nothing else, love deeply.Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-23557654568588922022009-05-21T11:18:00.000-07:002009-05-21T11:28:49.873-07:00Goodness me, it's MayOkay, let's start at the beginning:<br /><br />Scott and I broke up. I won't go into the gory details, the bottom line is that we broke up. To be honest, I'm relieved that it happened. I certainly cared for him, I thought that things were vastly different than they were. Alas. I suppose we go through things like that in order to grow, I wish there was another way sometimes to be tried and tested. <br /><br />I thought about going and taking down the posts that involve him, but I decided that it's part of my history and something that is shaping me so I think I'll leave them. At the very least it's a reminder of something to be leery of. <br /><br />Another big thing is that Logan and I are officially friends again. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">What?</span><br /><br />Yeah, I know. I found out that there was a chance of him being deployed and God put it on my heart to send him a message saying that I hope he was safe and that I'd be praying for him. Turns out he's not being deployed and that opened up a door for us to find closure from serious wounds and brought us to our friendship. <br /><br />I went riding with him yesterday on his motorcycle, it was really fun. It was also really nice that we could go and do that with no pressure and no drama. All I've been able to think is that life is certainly an interesting game of cards. Things that I never thought were possible have been happening. I've gotten closure from the most hurtful of experiences. <br /><br />I will try to update once again this evening as I'll be with Whitford (holla back!) but for now I'm off to the church!Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-87621034951739451592009-04-01T17:07:00.000-07:002009-04-01T17:22:39.756-07:00it's a small crime, and i've got no excuse.Hello April. Let's be friends.<br /><br /><br />I'm stressed. I'm tired. I'm over-exerting myself. I'm wearing thin. I'm getting sad. <br /><br />Those are the types of things I've been recently thinking during my day. Subconsciously mostly... which is surprising. I've been dreaming dreams about things I'd rather not think about or re-live. I've been put in awkward positions which I haven't handle well due to my lack of tact with words. I've been hurt and had it mended but am still feeling the residual pain. <br /><br />Today one of my kids got hit in the chest by another kid. It was a complete accident and the boy that did the hitting felt awful and tried to make it better for the girl. She kept asking me to call her mom saying that her chest hurt. I'm so drained and all I could think was, "yeah mine too." My assistant asked her if she was sure that it wasn't just her feelings that were hurt and that was why she was in pain. She said, "yes, my feelings are hurt. I think that's why I'm hurting right here." She pointed to the middle of her chest. Not over her heart, but the middle. Right where I hurt. It made me think about how things affect even the smallest of us. She was hurting because she got hurt, but more so because her feelings were hurt. Don't we all get that way sometimes? <br /><br />The question is, <span style="font-style:italic;">what do we do with that pain?</span><br /><br />As for me, I'm still looking for a place to put it or dispose of it or torch it or... something.<br /><br />I'm so frustrated with how much my past has begun to affect how I feel about myself. I'm so hard on myself. Poor Scott is always saying, "I wish you weren't so hard on yourself love" or something akin to that. I can't seem to come up with a solution. I've begun working out 3 times a week and jogging/walking on the other days. That seems to be helping... a friend of mine calls it free therapy. I've been taking more time to pray. I should be doing that regardless but I forget to talk to my Maker because I find myself stepping in front of Him to take it all on. He doesn't like that much. It may just be that He's in the process of reeling me back in. I don't know. <br /><br />I'm struggling and working to get through it. Maybe it's that I'm growing? Maybe it's just that I can't get out of this hole I've fallen in. Maybe it'll just take more time. I can't say. Whatever it is, I hops it starts working fast. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://pro.corbis.com/images/42-19117087.jpg?size=67&uid={CD8A5E2C-74C5-47D4-AD97-B3A3C81AACA4}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 640px; height: 427px;" src="http://pro.corbis.com/images/42-19117087.jpg?size=67&uid={CD8A5E2C-74C5-47D4-AD97-B3A3C81AACA4}" border="0" alt="" /></a>Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-62171150629282507062009-03-09T17:32:00.000-07:002009-03-09T18:06:31.894-07:00it's about time i wrote something down.It's been a while, let's catch up.
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<br />Since my last post a lot has been happening. A lot personally and professionally.
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<br />I started teaching the 4 & 5 year old class and I'm excited to say that I really enjoy it. It was soooo much more of a challenge than I expected what with lesson plans, tantrums, and whatnot. But, I must say the reward of it all is far outweighs the battles. I've begun teaching them what little Spanish I know and it's so amazing for me when I ask what a color is en espanol and someone blurts out "Azul", "Rojo", "Verde"! I clearly don't have kids yet but it's a privilege to work with these sweet little ones for the short time that I have them.
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<br />Today I realized how much they teach me sometimes! I mean yes, I am just like them in many ways except for bills and the fact that I'm a little bit taller. They show me things on a daily basis that just blow me away -- today I put dominoes, colored bears, and letter magnets on our tables. The first thing they did was jump right in and they began to make shapes and patterns. Then they got all crazy with the dominoes, I showed them how to make a long line and push them over, which they loved. I got busy with the girls making patterns and all of the sudden I looked down and the boys had dominoes lined up in swirly patterns everywhere! They took it so much further than I expected, we had the best time setting them up and knocking them down.
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<br />We've also begun to play musical chairs, they love it. I've noticed that when one of them get "out" rather than get sad and act like a bad sport they shrug it off and wait until the next game. It's so great to see that, it reminds me of how we should be in life. To not sweat the small things. Chalk it all up to a learning experience and move on.
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<br />I've been with Scott for about 3 months, the best 3 months actually. I'm slowly working through a lot of my old issues and the brick wall of Jericho is finally (even if very slowly) coming down. It's very encouraging to have someone in my life who loves me fully - he doesn't get frustrated with my inability to express how I feel sometimes, rather he sits with me quietly and patiently. He also brings me joy - no matter the situation. If I'm sad he brings me daisies, if I'm frustrated he lets me vent, if I'm happy he celebrates with me, if I'm quiet he sits with me. I think I understand now what it means to fully be loved and cherished by someone. Yes, I know, I'm 22 and this is only a 3 month old relationship. I am very well aware of how absurd this may sound to some of my more jaded friends, however, I am so so very happy. Much more than I ever anticipated being with anyone. All I can do is thank God for finally sending someone worth while my way and pray it leads me where He wants me to be.
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<br />We had the most amazing snow... like a week ago. Of course, now it's in the 70's. Whatever, life is random like that sometimes. Anyways - I got out with my family and played, it was the best time ever! We made snow angels, a snow man named Jack, Nathan started a snowball fight, we went sledding. I mean it was basically amazing, I'm going to need at least one more great snow before the end of the season... come on March! Show me the lion in ya!
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<br />I'm pretty much really excited about spring and St. Patrick's day. The kids and I have been talking about spring and all the fun things we can do when it comes - we're flying kites tomorrow. I mean how cool is that?! We're also talking about what kind of green food we want on St. Patrick's day. Ha! I've gotten them used to bagpipes and folk dance so we can rock the house down when the day comes! I honestly can't wait, it'll be amazing.
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<br />This is all I have time for now so I'll leave you with some pictures:
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<br />Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-7500248174275827992009-01-10T17:37:00.000-08:002009-01-10T17:46:02.165-08:00oh how life goes on.I have found that as I spend more time with my friend Zac the more I like "popular" music. Liiiike "Let it Rock" & "Miss Independent". <br /><br />I mean... wtf?<br /><br />For real ya'll, it cracks me up because I am all about some metal. I don't like rap or much R&B but here I am listening to this mess and enjoying it. Zac takes great pride in the fact that he alone can get me to listen to this stuff. <br /><br />Whatev, Zac. Whatev.<br /><br />I babysat two of my favorite kids last night. Before the parents left I was talking with their mom and she was telling me of some things happening in their lives... very similar to what is going on with my folks. It makes me feel better to know that the things going on at my house aren't the only place they're happening. <br /><br />My brother has decided to dred his hair, and he looks hilarious right now. Taylor came over tonight and got it all set up and now he looks like Medusa. Naturally I'm right there to give him a hard time about the whole thing. I think he'll look pretty kick-a with his new look. He's pretty cool like that.<br /><br />I have taken a job at Long's teaching the 4 year old class. I'm really nervous and really excited about the whole thing. I think it'll be a blast, that age group is so much fun. I also have a lot of support, not only here at home, but also at the church. It's so nice to hear people encourage me and say "I'm here for whatever you need!". I need that in my life. I'm going on Monday to observe a bit and see which kids can handle what and how the general atmosphere is in the room. I'm really excited to take on this challenge! <br /><br />I think my grandfather may be dying too. My mom is heading to FL this week to see how he is doing. I'll keep you updated, just keep us in your prayers. <br /><br />That's all I can muster tonight. <br />Hasta Luego!Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-39892502466399978132008-12-30T20:47:00.000-08:002008-12-30T20:54:20.910-08:00amore<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKjjAxKRRbATccEdOVdzKr14u23cxi4SO7hmwKjlviQs4mpDZLlvLXTqD1YzkHPAGs8hyphenhyphenvBjtaMd-k2YMZUukSzEMfegGs1GfMfgW0TDRB4gH5P2b0pQKORueTy0EZW5eSWc5oiUmn5Tc/s1600-h/IMG_0928.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKjjAxKRRbATccEdOVdzKr14u23cxi4SO7hmwKjlviQs4mpDZLlvLXTqD1YzkHPAGs8hyphenhyphenvBjtaMd-k2YMZUukSzEMfegGs1GfMfgW0TDRB4gH5P2b0pQKORueTy0EZW5eSWc5oiUmn5Tc/s320/IMG_0928.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285812991134924754" /></a><br /><br /><br />So, there is this boy...<br />♥Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-64203858528006309132008-12-04T21:16:00.001-08:002008-12-04T21:23:11.195-08:00so this is a bit loadedToday I was reading another <a href="http://goodmorningsarajevo.wordpress.com/">blog</a> I like to check in on and I went to the <a href="http://www.elnellis.com/home.php?x=browse">website</a> that she recommended. As I was browsing through some of the art I came upon this one:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.elnellis.com/images/20060621094025_jesus%20loves%20you%20copy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 700px; height: 1011px;" src="http://www.elnellis.com/images/20060621094025_jesus%20loves%20you%20copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />It struck me for sure. This wasn't easy to see and take in, however, I agree with what this picture is saying. To me, this is what Christianity has widely become. Maybe not everywhere, but I feel like the church has degenerated into what this picture represents. <br /><br />That makes me sad. <br /><br />I hope that as someone that loves Jesus I can do my part, however big or small that part may be, to rectify the damage the church has done. It seems to me that people like Jesus. What they don't like is, well to put it bluntly, Christians. It's my hope that we as individuals can turn that outlook around simply by trying to be more like Jesus.Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-18996630626833181242008-11-27T09:07:00.001-08:002008-11-27T09:08:46.312-08:00my favorite<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://remote.lohudblogs.com/files/2007/11/thanksgiving.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 422px; height: 316px;" src="http://remote.lohudblogs.com/files/2007/11/thanksgiving.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Happy Thanksgiving my friends. This is indeed my favorite holiday! I have so much to be thankful for and I plan on celebrating that to it's height today! I hope your celebration is as deep, full, and appreciated as mine! <br /><br />:]Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-23516623608296185022008-11-14T22:45:00.000-08:002008-11-14T22:53:22.330-08:00okay, soI really suck at life since I haven't been updating on a daily basis with thankful things. However! I do have a rather large list, compiled of things that have happened over the week. <br /><br />Let's see here... <br />-Having a day off<br />-Spending that day off with my brother <br />-Spending that day off in Panacea<br />-Having lunch with Kate and Whit at Panacea<br />-Playing in the leaves<br />-Having a phone date with a very sweet friend<br />-Having coffee with a different sweet friend <br />-Bonding with my family<br />-Rain<br />-Wearing my new North Face <br />-Hemp<br />-Time with my Afterschoolers<br />-Seeing Whit on a daily basis<br />-Hanging with Landry and J tonight<br />-My plans for this weekend<br />-Finding my old routine <br />-Being thankful for the old routine<br />-Praying <br />-Coldplay<br />-New ringtones<br />-New friends<br />-Love<br />-etc...<br /><br />Now then, that surely makes up for the lack of updating. Let's see if I can actually keep up with it as we count down to Thanksgiving!<br /><br />Woot.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYX2oa7UzpFYt2lzJeqZRXIWKnG0DcOTdp8hgEi1WGXkSCZrg-iqRsfU0BYpmpOIURCReDUl1lyZIsiMUBTmQAScLFstCg5_VLRr70na8zLN4YU7vbpaOACYkdmByy9RK3_HEAIqVfPg/s1600-h/1024081929-3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaYX2oa7UzpFYt2lzJeqZRXIWKnG0DcOTdp8hgEi1WGXkSCZrg-iqRsfU0BYpmpOIURCReDUl1lyZIsiMUBTmQAScLFstCg5_VLRr70na8zLN4YU7vbpaOACYkdmByy9RK3_HEAIqVfPg/s320/1024081929-3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268773736438305730" /></a>Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-34393874635531571162008-11-08T19:37:00.000-08:002008-11-08T19:44:57.104-08:00inspiration.Through my friend, Rachel, I read that she read (the cycle continues) somewhere a note encouraging one to post things daily that one is thankful for. <br /><br />Since I'm a sucker for Thanksgiving and random things like that I'm delighted to share that I too will be taking part. <br /><br />Welcome, my friends, so the first of several installments to the thankful fest. <br /><br />For today I have been thankful for:<br />-Clean laundry<br />-Dad coming home early from hunting<br />-Seeing my brother<br />-My mom <br />-Babysitting Whit last night and having a good convo with Kate<br />-Learning a piece of information that I didn't know what to do with, but after some council from dear ones am on my way to understanding and accepting. <br /><br />There is a bit of my list. I'm sure tomorrow's list will be filled with far more. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiQPqLHSu9ZT7PzKdA2d7rH0TBNSr0Y1xzibeQ5CJfnclxBPsD-bkvyb2t47-UwdJ3LgHwl1Bf7qWjsEcAodSuMiAo1NmukF5GBXcqle-3egfP9PFQVeMcfcolvjjOEFznrRa62e5zU5M/s1600-h/IMG_0734.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiQPqLHSu9ZT7PzKdA2d7rH0TBNSr0Y1xzibeQ5CJfnclxBPsD-bkvyb2t47-UwdJ3LgHwl1Bf7qWjsEcAodSuMiAo1NmukF5GBXcqle-3egfP9PFQVeMcfcolvjjOEFznrRa62e5zU5M/s320/IMG_0734.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266498542636788242" /></a>Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-42319070149629748022008-10-28T09:44:00.000-07:002008-10-28T11:24:05.049-07:00Ah, the first snow of the season!I met up with a friend today for coffee at Panacea. I love Panacea because of not just the coffee, but because of the different company you can keep while you're there. I spend an awful lot of time there since I'm working mainly in the afternoons and I have my mornings pretty much free. This friend of mine and I go back about a year and a half. We've been pretty close and then we had a bit of a rough patch and she moved away. She's back now and I'm so thankful for that, I think she needed to come back and this may be selfish, but I needed her to come back. It was very enlightening to spend some time with her today over coffee on the big ugly orange couch from the 70's in my haven of comfort. I had forgotten how much she surprised me with her insight and her knowledge of people. Her experience in life far outweighs my own even though she is just a couple of years older than I am. <br /><br />Yesterday at the church I was hearing tales of the possibility of snow. All I could think was: this early in the season? No way. <br /><br />Ha. I was wrong.<br /><br />The kids had a two hour delay, which was nice, I got to see my brother some this morning before we both went on with our days. I love spending time with him. I feel like because I'm looking for a real job our time is limited together. That might be silly but there it is. I digress, I spent some time with the first snow of the season (despite my coughing from the cold of satan). I took some pictures and just enjoyed the general cold splendor. I love the fall color when it's covered in a nice layer of snow. The white offsets things wonderfully. <br /><br />I think snow might be my favorite. It's not necessarily a rarity in the mountains, but a lot of times we get excited about it and it doesn't come. We had a nice half an inch at my house that I played in. I love how quiet things are when it's snowing, it's not like rain, bouncing around and letting you know it's there. Snow is much less unassuming that way. It just blankets everything in the wonderful white layer of goodness. It was nice to get out there alone with my camera to spend some time with God while in the midst of this early season blessing. He can speak really well to me through little things like that.<br /><br />I've also been spending a lot of time with James Taylor. I had forgotten about my old CD of his "greatest hits". It's been wonderful to settle down with a good book, coffee, and sweet baby James. <br /><br />One last thing: go to wisdombook.org and watch the video. Let it inspire you like it inspired me.Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-73582686750011841672008-10-13T06:52:00.000-07:002008-10-13T07:16:16.881-07:00in love with autumn...Today I woke up (I suppose really it hasn't been that long ago) and the sun was trying so hard to break through the fog and bring in the day. This is one thing I love about autumn... other than calling it autumn! Yesterday Mom and I were at the grocery and I saw the international delight creamers, pumpkin pie spice is out! Ahhh! I enjoyed a bit of that in my coffee this morning.<br /><br />How delightful.<br /><br />I've been babysitting again. Which means I've been taking pictures again. I love the Birthright family. They make my heart smile. I've been with them for some time now -- it's always such a pleasure to watch a child you love grow up over the years. I sound like I'm a grandmother... but whatever.<br /><br /><p style="visibility:visible;"><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://widget-91.slide.com/widgets/slideticker.swf" height="320" width="426" style="width:426px;height:320px"><param name="movie" value="http://widget-91.slide.com/widgets/slideticker.swf"><param name="quality" value="high"><param name="scale" value="noscale"><param name="salign" value="l"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"> <param name="flashvars" value="cy=ms&il=1&channel=10138257&site=widget-91.slide.com"></object><p style="white-space:nowrap"><a href="http://www.slide.com/pivot?cy=ms&at=un&id=10138257&map=1" target="_blank"><img src="http://widget-91.slide.com/p1/10138257/ms_t062_v000_s0un_f00/images/xslide1.gif" border="0" ismap="ismap" /></a> <a href="http://www.slide.com/pivot?cy=ms&at=un&id=10138257&map=2" target="_blank"><img src="http://widget-91.slide.com/p2/10138257/ms_t062_v000_s0un_f00/images/xslide2.gif" border="0" ismap="ismap" /></a> <a href="http://www.slide.com/pivot?cy=ms&at=un&id=10138257&map=F" target="_blank"><img src="http://widget-91.slide.com/p4/10138257/ms_t062_v000_s0un_f00/images/xslide42.gif" border="0" ismap="ismap" /></a></p></p><br /><br />There is some of our craziness! <br /><br />I'm really enjoying the weather! Autumn is my very favorite season! I'm planning on a parkway trip very soon that way I can get some great pictures of the leaves. It's so nice to live in an area that is so perfect in fall!<br /><br />I'm off, I have the urge to spend some time in the Psalms today. Woohoo!Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-74498190976856134582008-10-07T19:56:00.001-07:002008-10-07T20:21:17.345-07:00madness.I need to begin thinking of better headlines for my blogs. This one word thing is dorky.<br /><br />This last week has been insane. No, really. Insane.<br /><br />I have learned a lot. See, I'm the good kid. I'm the one that always does a good job, never gets in trouble, always gets good feedback, blah blah blah. I'm the goody goody if you want to say it that way.<br /><br />When I find out that there have been parent complaints due to me and my teaching style I flipped out!<br /><br />What? Me? I've done something wrong? I do my best! I really do! I love all of those kids equally! What in the world could I have done to offend? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *pulls hair out*<br /><br />So, my boss, knowing me from long ago knows that I am liable to flip out some. Okay, flip out a lot. Especially over something that I pour everything I have into. I mean come on, I have pictures of these kids on my phone, on my computer, in this blog. I wake up thinking of them and wondering if the one that was not feeling well yesterday is alright today. I miss them over the weekend. I like to draw with them, I play tag with them, I teach them how to braid hemp.<br /><br />See? These kids are my life.<br /><br />Back to my boss, she and I spent some time talking about how things like this can be frustrating and how you can't please everyone all of the time. We talked about somethings that I can do in the classroom to help with the issues we've been dealing with. It's been an amazing turn around. The kids have responded beautifully to it. I've written a letter to their parent's giving them an outline of life in my class.<br /><br />I'm so grateful to have a boss that understands not only how I am, but how to work with me and help me figure out a way to fix it. AND on top of all of that be patient and compassionate.<br /><br />Wow. Thanks God. And, Amanda! :] You two kids rock!<br /><br />Speaking of God. He had a big hand in all of this. He allowed me to step outside of myself and hear things that weren't pleasant to hear and he allowed me to absorb it and, with help, find a way to fix it.<br /><br />It's been very humbling. I'm not glad that some of the parents or kids were unhappy (duh), but I am glad that I was able to learn from a work experience that I'd never encountered. I'm also glad I had the support of my family, co-workers, my boss, my friends, and especially my kids.<br /><br />Since hearing the negative, I've heard some positives from the mouths of the parents themselves. Today one parent couldn't get their kid to leave with them. They looked at me and said, "as frustrating as it is to get her to come here, I'm so glad she likes it here". In another case I was saying goodbye to the last two siblings to leave on Monday and as I walked by I said "okay, guys! Have a great evening! See you tomorrow!" They kids yelled out, "We love you Miss Shannon!" and the parent said, "We're sure looking forward to it!".<br /><br />Holy smokes.<br /><br />I've learned a lot. It's truly amazing what sort of change a few simple days can bring and what God can do with all of it.<br /><br />I stand in awe.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNh_1_d3Rz9a1M6xfKzkRb5cwSGuR630KLfirBDvckm32O_JZyGsews2Us5bSr3S-DBKO6bXVzl4GsVik5GVXtrLZAnXJ21GDTlnL_V-vHm1WaVTASdIltkW38YyEspIC8UGmwa6nvLTg/s1600-h/0903081640a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNh_1_d3Rz9a1M6xfKzkRb5cwSGuR630KLfirBDvckm32O_JZyGsews2Us5bSr3S-DBKO6bXVzl4GsVik5GVXtrLZAnXJ21GDTlnL_V-vHm1WaVTASdIltkW38YyEspIC8UGmwa6nvLTg/s320/0903081640a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254617441557858018" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdyj4sb36zrXbd0rQuN479apf09nKH-2ytAL8ZedyL1PL38WZ_plezxmzXjC2Uw_weo5RZNrNurRfHYvv87eLoHPK0FELzJSMh0yWoIhA4fh5vk7_ttnmLYR-2tGY0ruLNXv3P7IA4_Bg/s1600-h/0716081255+%282%29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdyj4sb36zrXbd0rQuN479apf09nKH-2ytAL8ZedyL1PL38WZ_plezxmzXjC2Uw_weo5RZNrNurRfHYvv87eLoHPK0FELzJSMh0yWoIhA4fh5vk7_ttnmLYR-2tGY0ruLNXv3P7IA4_Bg/s320/0716081255+%282%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254617445521027474" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwjaOoSsJCfrydgpG2Ifh9ii596LAr82t21C_5_a5o1Hw62HpV1fUVAxoO06RLciH-_sUjuUOSellMHUk_4bildipKACDEAz7pkLRBkxG9pQQJrs95LFFM0hemx-J3WyWNArp4fwNwhA/s1600-h/0710081141+%282%29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwjaOoSsJCfrydgpG2Ifh9ii596LAr82t21C_5_a5o1Hw62HpV1fUVAxoO06RLciH-_sUjuUOSellMHUk_4bildipKACDEAz7pkLRBkxG9pQQJrs95LFFM0hemx-J3WyWNArp4fwNwhA/s320/0710081141+%282%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254617444780704162" border="0" /></a>Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-45826273485205451212008-10-02T07:08:00.000-07:002008-10-02T07:24:00.731-07:00freshSo, it has been a long time since my last post - I'm here to fix that.<br /><br />Since my last entry I have:<br />-gotten over someone<br />-stopped working on sundays<br />-found a new intrest<br />-gotten two new journals<br />-found a polaroid camera<br />-taken lots of polaroids<br />-settled some priorities<br />-enjoyed the crap out of my life<br /><br />For the first on the list:<br />I was involved in a horribly unhealthy "relationship" that had lasted an absurd amount of time. There had been a couple of months with almost zero contact and God said, "Hey, I miss you. I think you're neat. Come talk to me. Oh, and by the way, you are absolutely done with this idiot boy." I said, "Thanks for the heads up. No problem. I think you're neat too."<br /><br />Done? Wow.<br /><br />Enter the facebook message (oh yes, facebook). I basically said I was finished and I didn't think we had to never talk or anything like that, but that we'd never be what we were. ever. again. never. (etc) and I told him that I had learned to protect my heart and that he would have to earn the right back to see me. It took a lot for me to write that to him. The boy that I always made allowances for, the one I thought really loved me, really would fight for me, and wanted to be with me. Somehow I had believed all of those things. So when I wrote that my hands were shaking and I had to ask God if this was really thing right thing to say. He said, "Why, yes it is". <span style="font-style: italic;">Okay God, whatever You say.</span><br />So, after everything that I had believed about this relationship, after everything I had put into it, after all the tears, broken hearts, and b.s. along the way this is what he said back to me:<br />"I love you more than you know (obviously), but I'm not going to try and earn a chance to see you. That's bullshit".<br /><br />Really? Awesome.<br /><br />That right there was the defining moment our relationship. Contradiction in terms. I love you but I'm not willing to fight for you.<br /><br />Cool. That works.<br /><br />So girls: stay away from crap like that. That is the moral of the story.<br /><br />I'm doing quite well. I've started talking to another guy who I've known since college (that feels weird to say, oh wait, I'm not in college anymore. right.), he's nice and he likes the woods and he knows how to cook. Woohoo! So we'll see. Moving very very slow. That works just fine for me.<br /><br />Also, I told my boss that I was no longer going to work on Sundays. As God told me that I was done with the idiot boy, He also said, "Oh, I forgot, you're no longer going to work on Sundays. You're going to spend that time with Me."<br /><br />Sure thing God.<br /><br />I'm going to be going to The Vine basically every Sunday. I'm pretty thrilled about that. Fellowship! Yes!<br /><br />Norah Jones is extremely fun to listen to when you're cooking. Somehow when it's ready it tastes better. This is true of speghetti at least. Ha! It's quite nice to listen to some really great mellow music and cook at the same time. On a pink Zune of course. <br /><br />Oh yes, my Zune is pink.Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-42623766827807428542008-08-28T10:36:00.000-07:002008-08-28T10:45:42.081-07:00whewSince my last post things have gotten considerably better!<br /><br />I've been working through a lot of the things that were holding me back and not doing me any good. I feel like God and I have made some seriously great progress, and while I might not be 100% yet I'm close. <br /><br />Enter: relief, gratitude, excitement, entertainment, and love.<br /><br />In the last few weeks I have learned that:<br />I have amazing, supportive, steadfast friends<br />I have an amazing job and the kids are wonderful<br />Doubting my faith makes me stronger<br />Polaroid pictures are the greatest things ever<br />New journals inspire me<br />Wearing Danskos makes me smile<br />Because of Danskos I have new cute socks<br />Spending time with Whitford makes me ecstatic<br />The rain is inspiring and balm to me<br />Seeing my brother in the evenings makes my heart happy<br />Having my sister be in the after school program with me is oddly refreshing<br />...and stopping to watch the geese makes me laugh.<br /><br />I've been working mostly in the evenings which is nice, I have my days free to myself. That has proven quite useful in a myriad of ways.<br /><br />Mom and I are going to start finishing up my resume and then sending it out, posting it on the internet, etc. Time to start that journey. I'll keep you updated!<br /><br />For now, it's time for some coffee before I head to the church.<br /><br />Ciao.Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-89501463029922739572008-08-10T13:01:00.000-07:002008-08-10T13:13:59.867-07:00sheesh.I have realized in the last 6 hours that I am especially heartbroken.<br /><br />I had a fantastic morning with my church kids (note: they are different from my after school kids), even though I was dreading being there today. I was listening to Tool in the car when I parked this morning, and as I looked down toward the door (behind which is sometimes heaven, sometimes hell) I thought, "wow... no amount of Tool can make me want to be here today". I finally gave it up after a rousing shouting of<span style="font-style: italic;"> Jambi </span>and went inside to start for the morning when I was asked to do Children's Church. Now I have never ever done children's church, but hey who's up for new things? Me! I had the best time. Afterwards I ended up in my room with my sweet Landry and we played the morning away.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0SmRVtfLPpIAaS7hpkRkWIfirhrrJ8Hy4b5y5JUTDRXwGgkmNW_InIm5BVa4cHKQ9tBTQCjJrgPo8yDxEbPXT8tmVwrzqHVMFigvYDoFSYBJUUlID56AsLWhBKQrbTHruAUtYXqCKmR0/s1600-h/0613081923b-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0SmRVtfLPpIAaS7hpkRkWIfirhrrJ8Hy4b5y5JUTDRXwGgkmNW_InIm5BVa4cHKQ9tBTQCjJrgPo8yDxEbPXT8tmVwrzqHVMFigvYDoFSYBJUUlID56AsLWhBKQrbTHruAUtYXqCKmR0/s320/0613081923b-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232984721783291810" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiAbjV8nnvBMFUV1QlLIS9Sy5FfYIikUdgalBHkAMLkDtmz-rSFJuInGqYSygwbmVsoMcJ5kMSYETFFKOqPLJsxHuD35pFPCRvf7KlLO7JXRHISdzt_ZneqqkE0OAOd4LWF82wu5xk9g0/s1600-h/whitford!.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiAbjV8nnvBMFUV1QlLIS9Sy5FfYIikUdgalBHkAMLkDtmz-rSFJuInGqYSygwbmVsoMcJ5kMSYETFFKOqPLJsxHuD35pFPCRvf7KlLO7JXRHISdzt_ZneqqkE0OAOd4LWF82wu5xk9g0/s320/whitford!.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232984724320612450" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It was only on the drive home that I came to pieces in the car. Can I just tell you friends? Driving is therapy at times and then other times it's like a prison. Sometimes you can drive away from what is bothering you and that makes it better. This was not one of those times, this was a time where you realize that no amount of driving can make it better because there is nothing to get away from... it's all inside of you.<br /><br />Terrible.<br /><br />I came home and proceeded to eat comfort spaghetti and I slept for over and hour while listening to Gilmore Girls. Good news: I'm no longer bawling. Bad news: I now must deal with this constant hurt. There's the rub. I will not go into detail as to what has broken my heart because it does no good to spill your guts on the internet, but I will ask for you to be in prayer.<br /><br />On a side note, I found a daisy during my daily travels last week and it's doing very well on my window.<br /><br />That is basically all, except of course that my birthday is on Thursday. I will be 22. It'll be neat and hopefully by then I will be feeling more like myself.Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-49522760262928428452008-08-03T17:07:00.001-07:002008-08-03T17:35:19.109-07:00A New ChapterI need to start this off with a story that made me smack my forehead:<br />I was sitting in the first row of chairs at the graduation rehearsal minding my own business when this really bleach blond girl came to sit by me. <br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Okay fine, she looks nice enough. </span><br />So she strikes up idle conversation. <br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sure, go along with it, whatever. <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span>She looks at me and says out of no where "Oh my goodness! Is that your natural hair color?!"<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Oh my lord. Are you serious?! </span>"Yes, yes this is my natural hair color..."<br />"Well it is just gorgeous! I'll have to see if I can get mine that way"<br />*awkwardly* "Gee.... thanks." <span style="font-style: italic;">Omg. Kill me.<br /><br />[I need an alter ego]<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span><br />You have to wonder sometimes where society is going! I mean yes, I have fallen victim to thinking that I have to have a flat stomach and no love handles and it's something I grapple with on an hourly basis and then have to remind myself that I'm perfect how God made me. But please give me my natural hair color! I beseech you!<br /><br />Moving on:<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span><br />I am officially a graduate of Western Carolina University! Woohoo! This is all very exciting that's for sure. I don't know what to do with all of this crazy new free time! I had a lot of stuff going on when I had my two online classes. Work and studying/reading/writing papers/making power points etc., made for zero free play time. Now all I have to do is work, which I haven't done all weekend. It's been incredibly liberating to be able to watch a movie with my family and not think about the work I should be doing! Of course, I do think I will go back for my masters, but I'd like to make sure I really do love my field before I do that. You don't play around with a masters. Man, this is crazy. I'm no longer a student but am a real contributer to society! Woot! We'll see how this goes. Now the job hunt ensues. Be in prayer friends as I have NO idea where or what I will be doing.<br /><br />This picture below is me after the ceremony, however, I felt just like this the entire time I was at WCU, the time leading up to walking especially:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZDoMSCFF0Q2R1sqclnuG-1qAGj6tuMu_TOgO3kRanovnIzRSliEBgLBXerRu3CGIApAJ_6KthikzZHELOriNTdpxvbP7SGt-8LPCEp_FXhiiUPBOKiYF2IwgCZywV3Q98VClZjQJu4A/s1600-h/100_0134.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZDoMSCFF0Q2R1sqclnuG-1qAGj6tuMu_TOgO3kRanovnIzRSliEBgLBXerRu3CGIApAJ_6KthikzZHELOriNTdpxvbP7SGt-8LPCEp_FXhiiUPBOKiYF2IwgCZywV3Q98VClZjQJu4A/s320/100_0134.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230449646336332642" border="0" /></a><br />This is the classic parents flanking the graduate shot:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUGIi5lONrZwGdEXKHVnOf8r9WFjDzl1iFu5tsojvtmCFQRvAp26Zp7s2B2rJiTbO6EmFWRyZgeuJs9cRsPgkfV67UJy_4KGmOZHAnClJaDcCHjjQLe1pXJktJFkOK_VCEyq9QXUHRfow/s1600-h/100_0133.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUGIi5lONrZwGdEXKHVnOf8r9WFjDzl1iFu5tsojvtmCFQRvAp26Zp7s2B2rJiTbO6EmFWRyZgeuJs9cRsPgkfV67UJy_4KGmOZHAnClJaDcCHjjQLe1pXJktJFkOK_VCEyq9QXUHRfow/s320/100_0133.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230448639962911506" border="0" /></a><br />We were all pretty jazzed. And I got flowers! I love getting flowers, it's one of my favorite things!<br /><br /><br /><br />Now, I was looking at my room here at home thinking about how things will be changing sooner than I realize and how crazy life will get. As I was looking and thinking I saw my bed and thought, "man that looks nice". It's so lovely to see something that is a staple in your life and realize how inviting it is!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRoPvEbsOAfA06c_tG92KMO4mrosQvJhf9ZTTQhYPjqjh7kGAaqVpllq__8JQbKbOjd4hcjoweqAm4-l62mLWv4UZ1vVH18RrYcWrr-HabJf-tO_y2E5kwPKmPMn425QxeCLruyut6JaE/s1600-h/IMG_0310.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRoPvEbsOAfA06c_tG92KMO4mrosQvJhf9ZTTQhYPjqjh7kGAaqVpllq__8JQbKbOjd4hcjoweqAm4-l62mLWv4UZ1vVH18RrYcWrr-HabJf-tO_y2E5kwPKmPMn425QxeCLruyut6JaE/s320/IMG_0310.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230449193829454754" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWiPh8x6pmuxfgO4_lO6VfK35oIcfL7eiYvIuKzRRiw1imD5357mewogb8lo-XxDcvpzSOO5hjg-I5VkePD_g_iSNImcK4AzgW1UPvQZ_FndmwQ2TvI9yQs9R4E3v1Z5Wc5gkGtcKSQ50/s1600-h/IMG_0309.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWiPh8x6pmuxfgO4_lO6VfK35oIcfL7eiYvIuKzRRiw1imD5357mewogb8lo-XxDcvpzSOO5hjg-I5VkePD_g_iSNImcK4AzgW1UPvQZ_FndmwQ2TvI9yQs9R4E3v1Z5Wc5gkGtcKSQ50/s320/IMG_0309.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230448918114616194" border="0" /></a><br />For serious, how comfy does that look? And those are the flowers that I got for graduation :]<br />And yes, that is <span style="font-style: italic;">Eclipse</span> laying on my bed, yes I am a <span style="font-style: italic;">Twilight</span> Fan. And yes I did pre-order <span style="font-style: italic;">Breaking Dawn </span>online. Shut up.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuSdEOTd2WdSyE0lOJsnzEUYmL0uiCy0qC4FmPIgpDUu75SFtHo6vLt4cz2FRpsmj74HrVGdWOY8EkPzY_yUJNtYIsIH0Fzm5SoRDL4md3O16pk7Rqyem4iqLeZ_JViG10b4fnngC96SM/s1600-h/IMG_0314.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuSdEOTd2WdSyE0lOJsnzEUYmL0uiCy0qC4FmPIgpDUu75SFtHo6vLt4cz2FRpsmj74HrVGdWOY8EkPzY_yUJNtYIsIH0Fzm5SoRDL4md3O16pk7Rqyem4iqLeZ_JViG10b4fnngC96SM/s320/IMG_0314.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230449642993360498" border="0" /></a>That is me. Enjoying the crap out of my bed.<br /><br />That's all I have time for now. I have cross stitching and reading to do with my new found freedom!<br /><br />:]Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-84929108663386645792008-07-20T17:29:00.000-07:002008-07-20T17:45:30.064-07:00mhmm.I got an A in Chem. Yes everyone, Shannon Mimms got an A in Chem. Who saw that coming? Not I.<br /><br />Now to tackle the remaining 2 weeks of Native American Religion and I will hopefully have a 4.0 for my last semester at WCU. Holla holla to being an almost grad.<br /><br />So my friend is getting married. It's not the best thing for her at all. At all. But she is going to do it and it's been such a struggle for me. I think I care too much. But whatever. So we were at work one night and I was working on announcements for graduation and out of no where this burst of love and compassion overwhelmed me and I said I'll do whatever you need for the wedding. I proceeded to ramble off a list of possible things I could help with including murder, baking, and flower arranging. She looked at me and said that's good because I want you to be a bridesmaid.<br /><br />....what?<br /><br />So I said okay, if that's what you want me to do I'll do it.<br /><br />I need a little animated character of myself that acts out what I'm really thinking or feeling. Like Lizzie McGuire from back in the day. I was totally shocked when she asked me to do that. Of course on reflection I saw that she had wanted to and because I'm so bull headed and hateful sometimes she was afraid to ask me. As I said, I care far to much.<br /><br />So behold: Shannon the anti-marriage, reformed bridesmaid.<br /><br />I got a new camera. It's a Canon PowerShot and I really love it. It has the cool flippy screen and whatnot. Super fun. I've been taking pictures like no one's business!<br /><br />I babysat two of the coolest kids ever on Friday night. Caleb and Megan. They live way the crap out in White Oak and I saw some elk while Megan and I were on the trampoline speaking in British accents. It was pretty much amazing. I love that I get paid to play on the Will Fit, trampoline and swings with two kids that I love. It's a good life. Unfortunately I've been working upwards of 50 hours a week with my children at Long's. Some days it's amazing and I wouldn't' have it any other way. Other times I want to commit some terrible crime. All in all it's been a rewarding summer so far.<br /><br />All the fam comes down from IN and other various places on August 1st to see me walk across the stage like a cool kid. It'll be neat.<br /><br />We're also going to Charleston on Friday and I'm so excited I can't see straight! Charleston is one of my favorite cities in the world for sure. Maybe my favorite... next to Oxford. I really loved Oxford. So I have this great camera and I'll be in a fabulous city with my amazing brother. I will have lots to share with you.<br /><br />In the meantime I must return to reading for class. I have a big quiz and a few presentations to fine tune... wooohooo!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHtgeGRPbTIMnR-kykMCmLvGbkdwPKEyfnVECygGS2d0CvGOk0gijBYXEjL5g2pXVGtcbG2sVNo1MdnPOTZP8F-jZDRpWNM7NHKjuDbZzQnsYcw_P7jlvl5fYkVY1dAWv2HhUHcVD1fMo/s1600-h/IMG_0036.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHtgeGRPbTIMnR-kykMCmLvGbkdwPKEyfnVECygGS2d0CvGOk0gijBYXEjL5g2pXVGtcbG2sVNo1MdnPOTZP8F-jZDRpWNM7NHKjuDbZzQnsYcw_P7jlvl5fYkVY1dAWv2HhUHcVD1fMo/s320/IMG_0036.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225261936281272466" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_9BYyL6Q3GJbQxPyNOtP40GdtlkPwm080gxU06IChzzdgQ1k6QsYHinXBD4UDAWsn5F4EulHODWO_tNvq37VZs4S_VxrRFTNiYcRRwsgIdqfV9KBIiy7UsuC76A5quFa6bX2nMQpEoVc/s1600-h/IMG_0063.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_9BYyL6Q3GJbQxPyNOtP40GdtlkPwm080gxU06IChzzdgQ1k6QsYHinXBD4UDAWsn5F4EulHODWO_tNvq37VZs4S_VxrRFTNiYcRRwsgIdqfV9KBIiy7UsuC76A5quFa6bX2nMQpEoVc/s320/IMG_0063.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225261940016738978" border="0" /></a>Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-57431125665402060232008-06-23T15:35:00.001-07:002008-06-23T15:37:03.731-07:00<object height="225" width="400"> <param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1211060&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"> <embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1211060&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="225" width="400"></embed></object><br /><br />I saw this on another blog and fell totally in love with it. I love that people can abandon caution and just dance.<br />This makes my heart smile!Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1676904784923265877.post-16719875259993733372008-06-20T19:40:00.001-07:002008-06-20T19:54:27.663-07:00thought.tonight i came home and sat with my brother as i slowly dissolved into something i didn't recognize but could empathize with.<br /><br /><br />..(what a loaded statement)..<br /><br /><br />i have a friend that is going to make a mistake, or so i feel, somewhat soon. it's an imminent decision on this friend's part. i see a brick wall, my friend sees happiness forever.<br /><br />i have prayed long about my viewpoint. i have thought hard about my viewpoint. making ever so sure that i am in fact not projecting onto my friend my own reservations, but genuinely being unbiased so as to make the right decision when offering advice.<br /><br /><br />as i realized that though my friend asked and listened to my advice, they did not in fact hear and absorb it.<br /><br /><br />this friend is heading in a direction that i have been. i have to believe that there is redemption. i have to believe there is a reason why i went through what i did and why i continue to suffer and be plagued by it daily.<br /><br /><br />when my words were unceremoniously cast aside, it created something in me that i still do not recognize. something that i still am grappling with, and something i fear i will continue to grapple with. perhaps it's my own pain that i have been shielding myself from for so long. perhaps it's that i care far to much for the people in my life. perhaps God is trying to tell/teach me something. perhaps i'm very mellow dramatic. i'm afraid i don't know the answer.<br /><br /><br />my resounding question was and continues to be this:<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">have i not suffered enough?</span><br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">have i not suffered enough, does it not count for anything? is there nothing i can do with my experience to make it somewhat positive? can i not teach others from my past? what is it?<br /><br /><br /></span></span>and here i sit. still wondering. still not able to accept what is happening in my friend's life and not able to accept what is happening within myself.<br /><br /><br />God makes all things good. i'm working toward that. i'm working toward letting Him make this good. i'm working toward divine healing.<br /><br /><br /><br />on a side note. a very light and fluffy side note, i found a daisy in my yard today. my yard, you must understand, is a barren waste land. nothing but random types of grass grows and not much at that. one, daisies are my favorite. two, it made my day.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Behold! The Daisy!</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir1Zn8eszzMT4QQkdy50UxYB6ymLb_Wi5Ii4Em9e0mphhUj6y3HjHKD7M1k_5A22eYUINkR6B4TZgIsM7rkfrfUE5PhQzHMvKzoKMhRTAdDoIb4D9qq5PjTWBYNTysrfb8V1yuzQ3w_VA/s1600-h/me+and+daisy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir1Zn8eszzMT4QQkdy50UxYB6ymLb_Wi5Ii4Em9e0mphhUj6y3HjHKD7M1k_5A22eYUINkR6B4TZgIsM7rkfrfUE5PhQzHMvKzoKMhRTAdDoIb4D9qq5PjTWBYNTysrfb8V1yuzQ3w_VA/s320/me+and+daisy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5214162409338384914" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></span>Your Friend, Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04487246847013835963noreply@blogger.com0