sheesh.

I have realized in the last 6 hours that I am especially heartbroken.

I had a fantastic morning with my church kids (note: they are different from my after school kids), even though I was dreading being there today. I was listening to Tool in the car when I parked this morning, and as I looked down toward the door (behind which is sometimes heaven, sometimes hell) I thought, "wow... no amount of Tool can make me want to be here today". I finally gave it up after a rousing shouting of Jambi and went inside to start for the morning when I was asked to do Children's Church. Now I have never ever done children's church, but hey who's up for new things? Me! I had the best time. Afterwards I ended up in my room with my sweet Landry and we played the morning away.

It was only on the drive home that I came to pieces in the car. Can I just tell you friends? Driving is therapy at times and then other times it's like a prison. Sometimes you can drive away from what is bothering you and that makes it better. This was not one of those times, this was a time where you realize that no amount of driving can make it better because there is nothing to get away from... it's all inside of you.

Terrible.

I came home and proceeded to eat comfort spaghetti and I slept for over and hour while listening to Gilmore Girls. Good news: I'm no longer bawling. Bad news: I now must deal with this constant hurt. There's the rub. I will not go into detail as to what has broken my heart because it does no good to spill your guts on the internet, but I will ask for you to be in prayer.

On a side note, I found a daisy during my daily travels last week and it's doing very well on my window.

That is basically all, except of course that my birthday is on Thursday. I will be 22. It'll be neat and hopefully by then I will be feeling more like myself.